A Very Dark Shadow Called "Depression"

Being Hiatus for some time now, made me realized how much I love writing and traveling. Not traveling at least once a year really makes me sad. Since I don't travel as often as I used to, all I can do is reminisce all my previous travels and hoping for a chance, hopefully soon, to travel again. The reason for not traveling or writing is very personal, I am dealing with depression. With so much happened to me in 2018, I didn't have the will to write or even travel, I just wanted to stay at home and grovel.

Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to take the steps that will help you to feel better. It's not a very easy topic or rather feeling to talk about with friends or even family members. Before you talk, you want to make sure first that the person you talk to understands and will not judge you. These people are often the ones who deal or had been dealing with depression. Depression in Women vs Depression in Men vs Depression in Teenagers

I have never talked to anyone how I feel, until one day, during a lunch break, my friends talk about depression. The topic came up when one of the members of the local band video taped his suicide. Their reaction about it, for me, is very sad. They talk about why he had done it, can't he realized how lucky he is, compare to other people who have nothing, but still want to go on living. That they only have to talk to people or family member about their feelings. However, my question, is if they can judge him easily like that, how can they think of him talking about depression?

People with depression are scared and embarrassed to talk about it because people tend to judge people, thinking that it can be solved overnight. II talked to my boyfriend how I felt and he listened, and he will always tell me he loves me. That everything will be okay, but deep in my heart, I thought he's just saying that, because he really doesn't know how it feels. I often think that he thinks I'm pathetic or crazy. I don't see the positive things he does for me, just all negative. When to Know You Have Depression?

I know my depression is not very chronic, and I can't in behalf of those who have suffered a very long and hard depression, but let me tell you this. When you have that very dark shadow, called depression, you can only think of all bad things happened to you. True, you’ll have some time to think how lucky you are, laugh with your friends, go to work everyday, smile and be nice to other people, but at the end of the day, when you go home, this very dark hole is always waiting for you. This time, you focus on yourself, how ugly, fat, hateful person you are. How to Help Someone with Depression?

You don't think or see good things around you or happened to you, you just think of all negative things that have happened to you in the past, bad memories from your younger days. There are these splits moments you tried to think of good things, but it just makes the dark hole a lot bigger. You'll think what this happened to you, why can't it just be like it used to be. How stupid you are to make decisions that ended up badly. Parent's Guide to Teen Depression

I don't condone suicide, or the thought of it, but we have to understand that people have different ways of dealing with emotional and mental sadness. In the height of my depression, I never thought of suicide, but I was walking in the street not realizing where I'm going that I almost got hit by a car. It's that feeling that you just don't care what happened to you or you're in too deep thought that you're no longer aware of your surroundings.

Depression is not easy. Talking about it is not easy. Overcoming it is not quick or easy, but it's far from impossible. You can’t just force yourself to “snap out of it,” but you do have more control than you realize—even if your depression is severe and stubbornly persistent. How to Cope with Depression One Step at a Time?

TALK ABOUT IT! It's not easy to talk about it, but it helps.

TRY DO THE THINGS YOU LOVE! Try to think of the things you most love to do and start doing it slowly. It's hard because you don't have the will, but at least try. The key is to start small and build from there. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there by making positive choices for yourself each day.

PRAY! The only thing I can think of that will help me is by praying. I talk about it, but I feel embarrassed when I cry so I just decided on talking to Him instead. I go to church everyday, after work, and cried! I just sit there and cry my heart out.

Aside from yourself, He's the only one who can help you. You can wail all you want not thinking if you're being judged or ridicule, not feeling embarrassed, until you feel better. Hold on to Him, until the following day that you’re succumbed into that dark hole again. It helps talking to Him, even if it's the same thing everyday, over and over again.


I'm slowly getting over my depression and I decided on writing this to at least help some people with depression in my own way. And open the eyes of those who judge that it's not easy. You have to be in that situation to know how bad it is, so try to understand not judge. You are lucky you are not depressed.

If you need someone to talk to, just reach me out! Let's spread love..love and love! :)